A part of the rape culture that I hadn’t considered

8 07 2009

I’m reading Jane Sexes It Up right now, and one of the essays in that collection made me think of something I hadn’t in a long time – that extremely uncomfortable feeling you can get as a little girl around grown men, when they’re joking or talking about something you don’t quite get. It might be sex, it might not be, but there’s a fear and discomfort there whose origins I wonder at. Do we have some innate understanding of the sexual and the shameful as children, even if we don’t understand it?




2 responses

9 07 2009

There is a book (and I don’t remember the title or the author, but if you want I will track it down) that talks about this. Basically, the woman states that we do things in adult life that we know instinctually are wrong, but we do them anyway. We get embarrassed and ashamed with good reason. These are warning signs, and why are we ignoring them?!

11 07 2009
Avi Rappoport

Kids pick up shame and fear around sexuality so easily, in societies where that’s the norm. Hard to tell what’s “natural” and what’s cultural.

The guys I know deal with little kids by telling them outrageous stories and teasing all the damn time. I find it quite embarrassing, as they’ll always be lying, about why the sky is blue and where’s grandma? “She flew to the moon” is not exactly helpful.

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