And now for a completely silly thought…

When I was a kid, I believed (and still do to some extent, though now I just admit that I know nothing about the afterlife but am looking forward to finding out what it’s like) that when we die we all go to heaven and it’s simultaneously the perfect place for every individual.  So like my mom could be in a beautiful garden with my Daddy and I and yet somehow simultaneously Daddy could be with us in a perfectly green, energy-efficient house that he designed.  Or whatever.  But I just remembered that belief and thought, “hmm, I wonder if when I die I’ll go to Valinor.”

Nerd.

Spotlight on Ballot Initiatives: Another Reason to Vote No on 8

I already highlighted some reasons that even people who are sort of in the middle on gay marriage should vote No on 8 in this post.  I showed you some powerful ads against the proposition in this one.  But now I have another reason to vote no.  This post is specifically for Write to Marry Day, an event hosted by Mombian to put the spotlight on Proposition 8.  I’ve been thrilled to see how many bloggers are coming out against 8, including the awesome visual of the No on 8 quilt by Riese (I’m down there on the bottom).  But even if you wouldn’t consider yourself a supporter, or are feeling a little uncomfortable or unenthusiastic about same-sex marriage, you need to vote no.

This isn’t just about gay marriage.  People keep saying that this is about discrimination, hate, and equality, but one example really hits home for me why Californians need to get to the polls and defeat this proposition.  You may have heard about how the Yes on 8 folks have been sending letters to small business owners who donated to No on 8, warning that if they do not donate the same amount to the Yes campaign they will be publicized as opposed to traditional marriage.  That’s not just dirty politics, it’s terrifying.  Because you know what this sounds like?  It sounds like a time in our nation’s history where people were hunted down, blackmailed, beat up, and even killed because of the color of their skin or their sexuality.  This isn’t just about gay marriage.  If you’re thinking of voting yes on this proposition, please think long and hard about whether you want people who resort to these tactics to win.  It won’t stop here.  Marriage is just one step, and even if you can’t stand the idea of gay people getting married, think carefully about whether their ability to marry will hurt your life or your family.  Remind yourself that you’re the one your children look up to, and that you can teach them whatever the heck you want.  Yes, I’d personally prefer that children grow up to believe that it’s not who you love, but how you love them.  But I’m willing to concede some ground here because the important thing is that whether or not you want gay people married, I don’t think you want them threatened, fired, or killed.  These types of human rights violations are real.  They happen in many parts of the world.  Private citizens in this country commit serious hate crimes against gays and lesbians even as we speak.  If you’re religious, I think you can agree that whatever God considers a sin, he isn’t asking you to beat up or kill the sinner.  We aren’t so far away from turning the clock back to a time when gays and lesbians constantly had to fear for their lives and reputations.  Don’t be responsible for turning that clock back.  Vote no on Proposition 8.

Lesbian Book Club: Round Two Starts Now!

We’ve chosen a book for round two: Your Name Written on Water by Irene Gonzalez Frei.  We’d love to have you reading along with us, whether you’ve joined the club yet or not!  You can see the information for this round here as soon as you sign up for the message board.  Round Two discussion starts Friday, November 28th, and you can get the book on Amazon for a little over ten dollars new.  Hope to see you on the boards!

Lesbian book club: Don’t forget to vote!

Reminder: if you’re in the lesbian book club, go to the boards under “Book Suggestions” and click on the poll to vote for our round two book.  Poll closes tomorrow and we only have six votes so far.  You can vote for up to three books in the poll, and a vote doesn’t mean you’re committing to read.

Spotlight on Ballot Initiatives: Some Powerful Videos

I had intended to write separately about each of the marriage initiatives on various ballots, but since what I’ve already written about for Proposition 8 applies pretty much across the board, today I’m going to share some particularly effective campaign videos with you.  Don’t forget to vote!

Arizona:

(No on Proposition 102, a constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage)

Arizona Together

Arkansas:

(No on Act 1, a measure that would ban cohabiting couples from fostering or adopting children)

Arkansas Families First

California:

(No on Prop 8, constitutional amendment defining marriage as between a man and woman)

Gavin Newsom, Mayor of San Francisco

Haviland & Reese: I Hate My Gay Friends

Feminist Majority Foundation 

Ellen

California Superintendent of Schools

No On Prop 8

Love Poem (One of my favourites)

Connecticut:

(No on Question 1, which would mean a constitutional convention and possibly overturning of gay marriage)

Protect Our Constitution

Florida:

(No on Proposition 2, a marriage amendment that would also make heterosexual domestic partnerships illegal)

Michael Schiavo

Heterosexual domestic partners against Prop 2

And Finally:

Everyone should see this video.  But don’t watch when you’re somewhere where crying is inappropriate.  (Happy tears, I promise.)

Harvey Milk

Lesbian Book Club: Round Two Poll Posted

Hey there, book club members and those who want to join!  The poll for our round two book is up here.  You’ll need to sign up for the message board if you haven’t already.  Again, this is a guilt-free bookclub, so you’re welcome to sign up and vote even if you aren’t sure whether you’ll be able to read this round, or will only read certain books.  We want to be laid back about this and encourage folks to read when they can.  Poll is up until next Monday.

Look Ma, a New Layout!

I overhauled my header for fall.  I have far too much fun with Photo Booth’s black-and-white effect.

Also, be happy that I’m resisting my temptation to start extrapolating on my paper topic for Rethinking Public International Law.  You really don’t want to know my thoughts on European legal theory.  Trust me.  It would be sleepy time.

Lesbian Poetry: Who Has a Suggestion?

I’ve been a big fan of Adrienne Rich since my sophomore year of college in Baltimore, and my copy of The Fact of a Doorframe is much-loved indeed.  I recently discovered Marilyn Hacker, whom I am absolutely in love with.  She makes me think of a female Ferlinghetti, which is fabulous.  But I just realised that those two, plus Audre Lourde (also amazing) are the only lesbian poets I know.  Anyone have a favourite to share?

ps – If you’re in the book club, suggestions close and poll goes up at the end of the weekend.  Get those suggestions in!

Spotlight on Ballot Initiatives: South Dakota Measure 11

As you all know, I was in South Dakota a couple of weeks ago, helping the folks at the South Dakota Campaign for Healthy Families get the word out about Initiated Measure 11 and encourage South Dakotans to vote no. It was an interesting experience, as it always is when you try to look at or sell a political issue from a different angle.  One thing that strikes me about the Midwest is how unpredictable it can be, politically (probably why it’s swing state territory).  Midwesterners don’t necessarily fall into obvious “liberal” or “conservative” camps.  For example, I know plenty of LGBT, pro-choice folks who also own a gun and love hunting and fishing.  The “no government intrusion” angle really plays up here – and while my instinct is to have a knee jerk negative reaction to that angle, it actually is a positive thing when it comes to social issues, privacy rights, etc.  

In South Dakota, women’s rights don’t play very well, and so as we walked around the town of Yankton canvassing, and did some phone banking the next day, we really emphasized the poor construction of the law and the unnecessary intrusion into family decisions.  When Rita and I looked at our talking points and suggestions from the campaign office, we initially laughed a lot (in the car) about language referring to a decision between the woman, her family, her doctor, and God.  But then, when we approached the first house, complete with a Virgin Mary statue in the front garden, we realized the benefits of the tactic and to my surprise Rita launched straight into talking about how this is a decision a woman should consult her family on and pray about.  Well, when in Rome…

Though my own experience wasn’t so good numbers-wise (I got several undecideds and left literature at a lot of empty houses, but didn’t get a single person voting no), others reported some supporters.  Reading the language of the measure itself, I think it’s fairly easy to see why it’s a bad idea.  South Dakota already has the most restrictive laws on abortion in the country, and whether or not you think that’s a good thing, I can’t see why this measure would make things better for either side.  From a pro-life perspective, there may be a small group of people who believe that abortion is absolutely not allowed in any circumstances, but for those who aren’t quite so rigid, there are clear reasons to vote no.  For example:

• There is no fetal anomaly exception, and no exception for a fetus that cannot survive outside the womb.  If a woman is carrying a baby that will not survive, she still has to carry it to term.  One ad for the campaign features a South Dakota woman who actually faced this circumstance, and in an even more extreme case – she was carrying twins, and both would die if she did not have an abortion.  She was able to have an abortion and the second baby is a healthy child.  Under this law, she would not have had that option.  This case may sound extreme, but where it occurs it is extremely difficult for the woman involved.  She may be opposed to abortion, she may be very religious, she may not want an abortion – but if she makes the tough choice to go through with it to save a child, she would not be able to carry out that choice under the proposed law.
• The law includes reporting requirements that could harm a woman who was the victim of rape or incest and made the difficult decision to terminate a pregnancy.  Doctors are required to keep the records of the abortion and circumstances in the woman’s permanent medical records.  The Department of Health can request these records, and only the name must be redacted.  In a small town, this isn’t much of a protection.
• The law is poorly worded and vague.  Rather than allowing doctors to make decisions, courts will have the power to do so in interpreting this law.  The law also contains no health exception, so the doctor must be medically certain that the woman’s life is in danger to perform an abortion if there is no rape or incest.  There are a number of medical conditions that make carrying a baby to term inadvisable, but do not amount to life endangerment.

If you are registered to vote in South Dakota, please vote no on 11.  If you know anyone else who lives in South Dakota, please pass this post on.

Happy National Coming Out Day!!

I don’t have much to say about coming out, except that it’s a process, and wherever you are along the way, don’t worry – it gets easier.  I came out as bisexual at 16 to my best friends and my aunt, then my mom.  I gradually came out to people in my high school over the next year, and when I went to college, I came out to more people, but it took my six months to come out to my boyfriend.  After his taking it badly (and after we broke up a year later), I resolved to be as open and honest as possible to avoid awkward situations.  When I was 21, I came out to myself as a lesbian.  Then I came to Iowa and was out to everyone – my friends, my professors, the guy at the grocery store – but with each person you have to say those three words again, so the process is never really complete.  Now, it’s empowering and fun, but initially it was downright scary.  Remember, you’re not alone, and your coming out may help another person who can’t quite do it yet.